译名堂毕业翻译研讨

2019级“译名堂”毕业翻译研讨-第四场下半场

发布日期:2021年12月16日      作者:冯华琼      编辑:唐敏      审核:余鸿      点击:[]


汇报时间:202112920:00-21:30

汇报地点:思学楼B207

汇报学生:冯华琼

指导教师:柯文雄

汇报题目:《津市毛里湖国家湿地公园生物多样性示范项目环境影响报告表》

参与导师:柯文雄、王淑雯、阮先玉、宋莉娜

内容简介:

该文本选自《津市毛里湖国家湿地公园生物多样性示范项目环境影响报告表》(第四至第十章)是对规划和建设项目实施后可能造成的环境影响进行分析、预测和评估该环境评估报告可以出资方详细了解项目环保情况。该文本主要介绍了项目建设工程所在地的环境质量现状及评价;环境评价所适用的标准;工程施工期和营运期的污染源;工程主要污染物产生以及预计的排放情况;该工程建设对环境的影响,包括废水、废气、噪声、生态环境等以及该项目施工期及营运期的生态环境监理。


译文修改:

1

ST: 本报告建议在坝体拆除采取分段分时施工,即不对坝体一次性拆除,对坝体采取分时段分区段进行拆除,避免一次性拆除,让坝体内的水体一次性进入自然水体,影响自然生态环境,让坝体内的水体和自然水体混合,慢慢形成一个完整的生态系统后再拆除其余坝体,同时坝体拆除及时清理拆除的建筑垃圾,不得占用湿地公园水面。

TT1: Its recommended that the dam should be removed in segments and time divisions. Because the water will all flow into the natural water body if the dam is removed at one time, which will affect the natural ecological environment. Therefore, workers should remove part of the dam to mix water body in the dam with the natural water, and they should not remove the rest of the dam until a complete ecosystem is formed. Meanwhile, the construction wastes in the wetland park should be cleaned timely when the dam is removed.

TT2: Its recommended that the dam should be removed in segments and time divisions. The water will affect the natural ecological environment if the dam is removed at one time. Therefore, part of the dam should be removed to mix water body in the dam with the natural water, and the rest of the dam should not be removed until a complete ecosystem is formed. Meanwhile, all wastes in the wetland park should be cleaned timely.

研讨反思:这个例子是一个由多个平行分句所构成的一个长句子,其主要难点在于内容的理解与传达,句子的划分,提取主要信息,删减重复信息以及被动句式在此类信息文本中的应用。在理解该句内容的基础上,老师们建议可将其划分为三个部分:第一部分,坝体应分时分段拆除,因为一次性拆除会影响生态环境。第二部分,因此要先拆除一部分坝体,让坝体内的水体和自然水体混合慢慢形成一个完整的生态系统再拆除其余坝体;第三部分,及时清理建筑垃圾。其中“不对坝体进行一次性拆除...避免一次拆除”为重复信息,“不占用湿地公园水面”无实质性意义均可删除。由于自己在翻译的过程中,对于断句的内容添加了主语,老师们认为该主语使用不够恰当,应采取被动句式对原文进行处理。

2

ST项目建成后的最高每日游客量约为4000人左右,游客的生活用水量按照60L/d计算,损耗量按照20%计算,则游客的生活废水产生量约为192m3/d70080m3/a:时间按照365天计算)。

TT1: The maximum volume of daily visitors after the completion of the project is about 4,000 persons, thus the domestic wastewater produced by visitors is about 192m3/d (70080m3/a: one year is deemed as 365 days) if the domestic water consumption of visitors is 60L/d, and the loss is calculated as 20%.

TT2: After the completion of the project, there will be 4,000 tourists in a day, thus the domestic wastewater produced by visitors is about 192m3/d (70080m3/a: 365 days a year) if the domestic water consumption of visitors is 60L/d, and the waste is 20%.

研讨反思:这个句子是游客生活废水产生量的计算翻译,老师们指出,对于此类句子的翻译,首先要理清各个数据之间的逻辑关系,找到句子的主干再进行翻译。该句还有两个难点,一个是“游客量”的翻译,以及由于中英文的表达习惯与思维方式的差异,“按照...计算”这种中式表达我们应该用什么英文表达来进行转换才能更加贴合目标语言的读者需求。在老师们和同学们地激烈讨论下得出,“游客量”不要直译,该句可理解为“游客每天最多有4000人左右”;而对于“按...计算”可根据具体语境进行词性转换或是译为“是...”。

3

ST坚持循序渐进,有控制、有秩序地开展津市毛里湖国家湿地公园生物多样性示范项目建设的原则,控制开发强度和利用规模,其生态旅游建筑设施与景观设施建设规模、范围要严格按照规划执行,建筑设施所使用的材料要环保,要把项目建设带给资源与环境的负面影响控制在可承受的限度,确保旅游区自然生态环境的良性循环,实现生态旅游业的可持续发展。

TT1: It is required to adhere to the principle of gradual, controlled and orderly construction of biodiversity demonstration projects in Maoli Lake National Wetland Park of Jinshi. The development intensity and utilization scale should be controlled, in detail, the scale and scope of ecological tourism building facilities and landscape facilities should be strictly in accordance with the planning, the materials used in construction facilities should be environmentally friendly to control the negative impact of project construction on resources and the environment. The virtuous cycle of the natural ecological environment in the tourist area should be guaranteed to realize the sustainable development of ecological tourism.

TT2: The development intensity and utilization scale should be controlled, for example, the scale and scope of ecological tourism building facilities and landscape facilities should be strictly constructed, and environmentally-friendly materials of construction facilities are preferred to control their negative impact on resources and the environment. The virtuous cycle of the natural ecological environment in the tourist area should be guaranteed for the sustainable development of ecological tourism.


研讨反思:纵观整个句子的内容与结构,我们可以看到坚持循序渐进,有控制、有秩序地开展津市毛里湖国家湿地公园生物多样性示范项目建设的原则”在后文有详细的展开,老师们建议,该句内容可进行删减,删减后的信息内容对原文信息的传达并无影响。后面的内容是属于典型的汉语平行结构,呈竹状式结构,我们要对原文的主干信息进行提取,再将修饰语等处理成相应的句式表达,避免句子结构单一,逻辑性不强。同时老师们也指出了句子中一些使用不当的词汇。

总结:在此次翻译研讨过程中,我也受益匪浅,老师们给出了很多建设性的意见,不仅在术语,词汇上面给予了我们很大的帮助,同时,对于句子以及篇章的处理的建议也尤为重要,让我对自己的文本翻译有了更加清晰的认识,在处理句子结构上有了很大的收获。除此之外,为了确保文本译文的可读性,我们需要阅读环境评估报告相关的外文平行文本,找到此类文本翻译的语言风格与表达形式,在接下来的时间,我也会遵从老师们的意见与建议,不断优化打磨自己的译文。



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